Moooo, Baaaa - Flight 1271 Is Ready For
Takeoff (cont.)
2. Seating
A friend and I were traveling to New Zealand to compete
in the Ironman. He had always flown first class, but being
a friend, he decided to travel with me in the cattle section.
After the long flight, he said he would never travel economy
class again. Many of us don’t have the luxury to be
in first class, but there are ways to make the flight more
enjoyable then other cows in our section.
When at the ticket counter, ask for an emergency exit
or bulkhead row. You get full leg extension in these rows.
You can’t reserve an exit row over the phone because
they must make sure you are fully capable of performing
the emergency procedures (i.e. yelling fire! if someone
lights a cigarette). Another secret, even if you don’t
get an exit row on that flight, you can reserve an exit
row seat on the return flight since they know you can handle
exit row duties. This is true even if your return flight
is a month later. Single men and women also prefer the exit
rows because they can converse with the Flight Attendants
(a future date?).
If exit rows are unavailable, proceed to a window seat
for shorter flights if you don’t feel like mingling
and if you want to sleep and lean against the window for
better head position or aisle seats on longer flights so
you can stand and stretch your legs whenever you get the
urge. The aisle is better for those who are claustrophobic.
On international flights, make sure you are seated as far
away from the smoking section.
Smoke inhalation is not good when trying to fall asleep.
3. Boarding
When the airline calls for boarding, why does everyone
hurry up to get in line to board? Do they think they won’t
get a seat even though their seat assignment is on the ticket?
This amazes me. I believe these people have a sadistic side
as they look forward to being cramped for an extra half
hour than need be. In addition, they have to wait that much
longer before they can go the bathroom again. While the
sheep are sniffing each other waiting in line, this is an
excellent time for triathletes to stretch the legs (serious
stretching), get some water and go to the bathroom so we
will feel comfortable when boarding the plane.
Boarding last is less stressful because you don’t
receive the negative energy and tension from those who are
in a hurry to go sit. If you do board last, it is a good
idea to have a small carry on as space may be minimal in
the overheads. Boarding last might also get you bumped into
first class if your economy seat was taken.
4. Flying Essentials
Full water bottle - the longer the flight, the more dehydrated
you’ll get. Flight attendants never seem to come around
enough with beverage service.
Earplugs - If you forget them, you’ll be seated right
next to a screaming baby. If the baby doesn’t have
mama’s breast or a playpen, then earplugs are the next
best thing.
Eye covers - For those like myself who need total quiet
and darkness to snooze.
Sleeping tablet - For long flights. You’ll be there
before you know it. I use non- prescribed sleeping tablets.
I also don’t worry about setting my “body clock”
to arrival time zone. It doesn’t matter if I sleep
a lot or not at all on the plane, I am always tired when
I travel, so why not get as much sleep as possible?
Headphones - not only can you not here sound through the
airline’s headphones, but also you don’t have
to deal with wearing other people’s earwax and hair
gel. In addition, you save $4.00 for the cost of renting
headphones on some airlines. (Insider tip: Hide your earphones
until after the attendant passes, they are supposed to charge
you even if you have your own.)
A traveling partner - excellent for hand, neck and back
massages while sitting in your seats.
Good book and a deck of cards.
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